Nailed!!!!

NAILED

Whoever invented the ridiculous idea of growing nails for a hobby probably never bought itch guard or they were infected with the idea and psoriasis, eczema or scabies.
I don’t condemn the ‘ingenious’ fancy of men or women growing finger nails, but what irritates me is that fully grown men growing a single finger nail, calling it a novel experience. And they never seem to get tired of it. Well, just imagine how it would be while you were digging your nose with it or caressing somebody…damn!! It’d be annoying. And the obvious problem of the common Indians who don’t wipe their bottom but wash it…well…it’s sure gonna be a pain in the arse.
The care taken by them for that ‘splendid’, ‘unique’ nail is outrageously risible. They festoon the godforsaken nail with all kinds of spangles, polish or even go to the level of applying mehandi to that hand alone.
What takes it to the horribly ludicrous stages is they take pride in the feminine decorations and start using their mothers’ or sisters’ hairsprays or flowers or nail paints and the disease seems to spread from the hand to the other parts too. Just imagine a swarthy, lanky jackass with a pink nail standing out and his face gleaming with self-exaltation. They effeminate to such morbid levels, that even girls start envying them and go about them for they somehow seem to like the company of like minds…hell.
The worst of all maybe the lipstick. Damn it!! They smear their ‘voluptuous’ lips which used to smoke cheap bidi’s or chew those beetle nut pans with pink/ maroon lip sticks that make those lips look like the bottom of a baboon. And they just don’t stop it there…they smear those wrecked lips over and over with it, say every time when he’d comb his hair.
The next comes talcum powder. Those guys would empty cans and cans for they come cheap. Where they may use it? Well, mostly the content goes into those dark, smelly, hairy armpits and over the hairy chest and belly and some even into the underwear to get rid of itching due to the sweat. The worst comes when they use cheap scent or the 1+1 offer deo’s over the talcum powder.
The ‘brave, daring’ dudes (dude? Is he anymore called so?) can try further to get pierced. Well, yeah in multiple locations which make em look sexy as they might claim it. Nose, ears, bellybuttons…oooomphhh what a sight!!!
Look, what a bloody nail did to the manhood. Tch tch tch…
Just imagine for instance what’d happen if all men started to take interest in these demented hobbies. We’d have a separate slot for the lipstick in the jeans, a comb up the sleeve, a mirror in the breast (well, this word sounds better than chest in this instance) pocket, pink wallets, and yeah…pink cigarettes.
Well…I don’t know abt the rest of India, but being from Andhra, I’ve seen this deranged practice here only till now. I hope its not contagious.