Muteness and cuteness

Muteness and cuteness:

Whoever brought into existence the concept of ‘cute’ or ‘kyooooot’ things didn’t realize he had just invented the biggest implosion artillery in the world. The way these girls who try to be cute have created a cult of their own, which has the following commandments to be practiced:

Eat like a bunny: the food eaten must be of bright colors and drinks should be health conscious ones.

They don’t eat to satisfy their hunger, but rather mince at every bit and drink in sips in public. Mouth shouldn’t be opened wide in any circumstances, in either talking or eating.

In case they eat with the spoons, spoon should contain only a ¼ fill. They chew more than required like a cow that tries to look intelligent while ruminating. They follow the rule of ‘thoda khao, thoda pheko’ to show that they eat less, which we suppose to be the secret of the figure, which is the most important investment in life they make to attract the idiots.

Pouting: Well, sb said, if you don’t understand what the person oppo is saying to you, smile to show your agreement. These cuties take that to another level, where pouting seems to remind them of a rose (the assumptions that the empty head makes) and is followed by a smile that makes the desperate drool. This is the most commonly used trait which never seemed to fail over the years, and these cuties get pro at it every time.

Pouting is used best when the girl shows resentment over sthg u’ve done, and the expressions dons the look of a pug that had just found you not rubbing on its back.

Acting dumb: This is the easiest of the commandments, where they are of their true selves. The lady makes you thus talk more to her saying she hasn’t understood what u said previously and thus keeps your attention to herself. Once, she’s got the attention, she’d smile and pout at the end of every sentence you say, even if that never made sense or you were just playing mute by moving your lips. She’d never take her eyes off you to make you feel uncomfortable till the dumbass at the back of your head says ‘she’s attracted to you, what if we could make out!’ She’s been successful at the process when she switches you on.

They wear this blank expression at every thing you say, for we know, smart ppl respond…and their sole intention here is to resemble a teddy bear, and thus make themselves presentable in a huggable, cuter manner. Whoever made the first teddy…$%*%&%($@ !!!

Talking or acting kiddo: This itch-in-the-undie kind of an act involves their talking like a 4 yr old, swallowing syllables and stressing statements. Some common phrases are: ‘choo chweet, ohhh luuuvvvlee, ohh that’s nicee. The trick is to never offend you, thus all they make are positive statements.

Using ‘ma for my’, momma for mummy and the ever used ‘thinkin, doin, sleepin etc, where they found the ‘g’ at the end too middle class.

Bloody @$%#*$.

The worst may be the expressions of vociferation. They go like ‘oh’ and keep their mouths open for a whole century to even let the flies over their mouths get confused if that thing open was a mouth or a sewer hole. The same goes with ‘ah’, ‘oo’, ‘aahaa’ etc. The most irritating part that creates the biggest implosion in your stomach and gives rumbles in it, enough to make you get the feeling that ‘maybe Nagasaki was a woman, and they did the rite thing nuking the b*%$%’ is the whining part. They whine like those dogs that have both piles and loose motions at the same time. The sound pierces you, makes your belly button vibrate and tickle from the inside.

Blinking: This asinine act came into existence after the animation industry started; the way the eyebrow’s of snow-white fluttered made these ‘snow-job donkey eyes’ imitate that. The bland smile and the fluttering ‘beauty parlor’ eyelids’ fluttering makes it seem like a mule flirting with you.

Movements: These beaut’s move like they belong to a different space time universe where everything is in a slow motion giving enough time to take care of all the things that weigh how they look, like dressing their hair or sitting carefully as if there was a mine underneath or talking as we were alien to the language they speak. The most irritating is the wrist movements they make, trying to imitate grace of the dancers…and the walk called the ‘cat walk’ as if a drunkard was tested to walk on a straight line. They seem to have no rush at all and were relaxed and pro at everything…no rush even when they’ve loose motions. They make it a point to clean the spot over which they sit, like they were born laminated and a speck of dust may ruin their appearance of a fairy.

The rest of the cuteness is derived from owing pink teddies or attaching soft toys or huge baubles to their key chains and bags or examining every leaf or flower like they were suddenly smitten by the complexities of the nature.

So, I guess…girls make a datum of cuteness by the teddies they own or watching animated movies where they make the heroine is made beautiful to sell. The dumb muteness, the blinking and the sniggering and excessive touching you and bending add the icing. The whole point I guess is to make a statement that ‘Even I exist, so you better look at me’.

This is not the case with a select number of dim wits, but every girl does this, knowingly or unknowingly. They would never try to lose a chance to impress you. So, the next time you are sitting with a girl, try to point out these harebrained acts and laugh your ass off.

God have mercy on these fragile china glass beauts’s that were given the brains of the size of an almond, only because they could never handle more load in the skull.